DUDE -
THAT
WAS THE BIGGEST DAM
FISH I EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!
One
chilly September 1999 day in Indiana, Me and my
drunk buddy Bob decided to go catfishing again, for
the 52nd time that year (no joke). We went! We
spent $35.00-$40.00 on beer, bait & ice,
found a nice open, secluded spot to fish with ten
poles, get really really drunk, and build a monsterously huge fire.
We sat there all day long
and
It was getting pretty drunk out!
Drunk
enough that we were eating the dogfood. From
about 12pm till 2am - 10 poles in the water,
using all the baits you can think of - and we
never even got a good bite, ya know, when your
pole starts to slide across the ground. We didn't
even catch any carp, perch or bluegill.
NOTHING!
Nothing - except a very
killer buzz.....
After
13-14 beers each, my buddy Bob became agitated,
and went up to the car to go to sleep. So me,
being the drunk adventurist, grabbed one of my
good powerful catfish poles (named
Whiskers), the last 3 beers, a bucket of dead
stinky chub minnows, and one of his shitty little
poles (Why not? It is not
like he was watching it) walked up close
to a little shack.
I sat there over 2 hours with no
bite. I Didn't get it!
Each
line had about 6 big minnows on it with their
heads chopped off. I thought there was just no
fish in that river, so I decided to call it a bad
day, and reeled in my monster pole Whiskers.
(Whiskers could probably pull in a shark. )
I
took the last drink of beer, tossed in the rest
of the bait, and then I noticed my eyes were
turning yellow, - so right there in front of God
and everyone else, I pulled out the other
monster pole - and let ' er pour. Just as the
flow got to going really good, ya know - when you
couldn't stop even if you wanted to, I thought I
heard something sliding across the ground, so I
looked over my shoulder and...................
HOLY SHIT !
It
was his shitty little pole sliding across the
gravel heading straight for the river. With my
monster still hanging out, and pissing all over
myself, I grabbed the pole just before it hit the
water. Now with a pole in each hand - I lifted
the fishing pole, and he took off with a furious
burst of shear fishy power I have never before
felt. The drag
started screamming................
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa -
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Now
with my pants down to my knees, pissing all over
myself, and both hands holding on to this pole -
The drag continued to scream. I must of fought
this monster for an hour, reeling in about 20
feet, and he would take off on a run for about
twenty yards, the drag screaming every time,
louder and louder.
As
I finally got him to wear down some, I started
getting him in closer and closer and closer, and
my balls were getting colder and colder and
colder. (you know about the cold thing right?)
I
knew I was getting him closer. As I was looking
to get a view of him, I thought I was
looking at a tree. I thought I had lost him, and
now hung up on this fuckin tree. Just as I
started to think "AWWWWWW " ..........
WAAAAAAAAAAAA -
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
That
tree took off swimming with another burst of pure
fishy power. He was getting tired and so was I.
He was not making it very easy though. Everytime
I got him close, he took off. He really did not
want to be seen, but I finally out lasted him,
and got him close enough for a good view! Now I
am thinking.................
DUDE - THAT is THE
BIGGEST DAM
FISH I have EVER SEEN IN MY F**KIN LIFE!
Now
I was scared, shaking all over, and pissing my
pants(literally). Once again the mother fucker
took off on me. Being it was a small pole, I was
holding it kinda parallel to the water so he
would not break the pole, because he could've
snapped it like a twig. But that little pole
still just could not handle the fury of a big bad
ass flathead weighing in at about 60 -70 pounds.
That little plastic piece that holds the reel in
place is just not meant to withstand about 60
pounds of pressure, and It broke in half. The
reel went flying to the ground, and one more time
he took off in a burst of fishy power. The reel
took off towards the bottom eye of the pole, got
wrapped up in it and.........................
SNAP - HE WAS GONE !
Broke
the mother f**kin line. There I was, drunk as a
skunk, my pants down to my ankles, frozen nads,
pissed on, pissed off, and very awake. I just
lost the biggest dam fish I ever seen in my life.
I pulled up my wet pants, kicked the dirt with my
wet shoes, and went and grabbed the pole I just
threw about 20 yards.
I
was so pissed off I woke up my buddy, stumbled
all around the car bitching my brains out, about
him having a plastic pole, and I
said.............................
DUDE - THAT was THE
BIGGEST DAM
FISH I have EVER SEEN IN MY F**KIN LIFE!
Why does the biggest fish
always have to pick on the smallest pole ?
Why do you always get a good
bite while you are pissing ?
Why does someone put 20 lb
test line on a shitty little plastic pole ?
I
guess some questions have no answers.
Like
my story or got one to share?
 to :LOST MY FISHY@THE RIVER
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